You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘this dog is trying to get me fired’ tag.
I got to spend the weekend with Chico’s brother, Scooter, the dog from hell. The world’s worst dog world’s 2nd worst dog. This is the first worst, notice the crazy eyes:
He's crazy. The one in the cheerleader outfit is really sweet.
So, yeah, Scooter gets dropped off and I’m, like, “This is going to suck.” He bites, he pees every time someone touches him, this is when he allows himself to be touched, he refuses to gooutside…did I mention he bites? He has little pointy knives for teeth. And, the
Bella and Lucy
person I have plans with won’t answer the phone. I actually had to call her because she wouldn’t respond to texts.
I called my friend, Emily, who has two very cute Chihuahuas and Chico likes them and they all tolerate play together. Shockingly, she agreed to allow Scooter into her house.
Dude, he behaved!! And, he even allowed Bella and Lucy (Emily’s pups) to sniff him. It was glorious! Then, Bella and Lucy got into a fight, with teeth! It was awesome. Only because, Scooter wasn’t being the worst dog in the room. And he didn’t start the fight. (At the
He's always watching...and he bites.
dog park, the big dogs are obsessed with him and he cowers and tries to attack everyone and acts like Cujo and I feel like the parent with the kid who throws dirt and eats worms.)
Then we went home and he behaved some more. He behaved almost all weekend, except when he tried to bite Roomie and then tried to bite me a bunch of times. So, yeah. Maybe he has moved to the 3rd or 4th worst dog ever.
Chico has been banned from my parents house for Christmas. Why? Because they are heartless and mean and don’t care that Chico has cried himself to sleep every night since the news. So sad. Here are some pictures of Chico being very cute. I have emailed most of these to my family to convince them to allow Chico. No luck.
In front of the space heater
Sleeping, cutely
In the sweater I knitted him
Aw…
In his coat.
How could you get all of these pictures and still ban him? Especially when you are a dog person? And you already have three dogs? One more won’t matter. Parents, you are heartless and Chico is crying…are you happy?
So, I saw The Fourth Kind a few weeks ago and it made me think. They allude to alienspopulating the planet..with people. I did this artistic rendering for you all…
T-Rex is in there so that you know about the dinosaurs being here before the aliens came and brought people. Yes, you’re right, the flying saucer does look like a sombrero. It was probably those devious aliens who brought on the iceage (nuclear power? something we don’t even know about?) and killed the dinosaurs. They probably made the crater in the Yucatan Peninsula to throw us off their trail. Anyway, they came and killed the dinosaurs with lasers or something and populated the earth and that is how the pyramids were made. Because the aliens had rulers.
Now you know where you came from. You aren’t really American or Mexican or Chinese, you are alien. You’re welcome.
At my new job there are dogs everywhere. All the time. And it is wonderful. So, I decided to bring my dog. Who has a whole going to the bathroom in appropriate places issue. I thought if I watched him constantly, and made sure to take him out for a while before we went to the office, he would be fine. I even left him in the back yard in the drizzle for like 30 minutes this morning just to make sure that he got everything out of his system. 
We started off strong. Everything was going well, people wanted to pet him, he was being really cute! Wagging tail, running up to people…the cute doggie.
Then….as soon as I turned my back…he pooed. He pooed on the floor in front of all the executives in 
less than an hour and in front of Abby and Finn, the dog Prince and Princess of the office. This is after I sat donuts on the wrong table and Abby ate 7 and spent Friday in the vet puking.
So, I made him 
sleep on my desk. And he has been sitting here off and on for the remainder of the day. He keeps staring at me with tired eyes, but he won’t go to sleep. People keep wanting to pet him. I have quarantined him under my coat and am hanging out with his doggie stuffed animal. I threatened to take him home for a little while, but we both knew I am too lazy.
SocialVibe