I was going to write this post about the fact that our society seems to treat women who don’t want children like freaks of nature. Even though I don’t feel this way, I still get a little jolt of “there must be something wrong with her” whenever someone tells me she doesn’t want to be a mommy. I’ve been brainwashed into assuming every person on the planet with a vagina wants to procreate. The ones who chose not to have children are the smart ones. How many women out there are having kids when they know in their hearts it’s not what they really want? And the kids are the ones having to suffer. I was going to write about how these women choosing not to have children are the unsung heros. They know they don’t want to have kids and they aren’t allowing society to peer pressure them into it.
Instead of all of that, I decided to take a bunch of pictures of myself and post them up here. Enjoy.
15 comments
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March 24, 2010 at 12:02 pm
A Vapid Blonde
We have fur babies and they are a handful. Luckily I can leave them home alone at 2 and 3 while I drive around in my sporty two seater. (Just kidding, kind of)
I think any woman whether a mom or not is a super star. Love the pictures!
March 24, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Windsor Grace
I agree! It’s just sad that so many women feel that they need to procreate in order to be a successful human being and that our society backs up these feelings.
March 24, 2010 at 12:12 pm
A Vapid Blonde
I have a handful of women around me that choose not to. I think we gravitate to each other. Not to denegrate my friends who have or who are trying to. But of those I know, one is having a really hard time adjusting to mother hood and the other I really think she is just not really into it.
March 24, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Windsor Grace
That is what I worry about for myself. What if it doesn’t work out? I’m not saying people who are great moms aren’t heros as well, it’s the ones that felt like the had to be moms that aren’t into it I worry about.
March 24, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Sonal
Nice post. Whenever I tell people I don’t plan on having kids, I always get “What?! Why not?!” Shouldn’t NOT wanting to have kids be the best reason NOT to have them. You should REALLY want to have kids before you make that decision. Too many people think it’s what they should do or they just let it happen. It’s not a decision to be taken lightly. Be a mom if that’s what you want and don’t if it’s not.
March 24, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Windsor Grace
I completely agree and am glad that you aren’t letting society peer pressure you into something you don’t want to do. It’s like everyone assumes any woman who doesn’t want to have kids is selfish or something. It’s more selfish to have kids you don’t want.
March 24, 2010 at 2:29 pm
AsianCajuns (Lar)
Oh I totally agree with you. I think it’s becoming more “normal” to not necessarily want children- but I agree with you that some people still will look at you like you have five heads. I don’t usually even feel a jolt because Cath has always said she doesn’t want kids- so when your twin has said that forever, that becomes the norm- hahaha! And she’s the one who is surprised when I say I might want to have one or two one day.
ps- cute photos! Luuurve your yellow shoes!
March 24, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Windsor Grace
I feel like people talk about it like it’s normal, but when someone chose to him/her says she doesn’t want kids, then they aren’t feeling like it’s so normal. People are weird. It’s really none of anyone else’s business anyway.
I *love* these shoes too!! When I saw them on ebay, I just *had* to have them!
March 24, 2010 at 3:05 pm
Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks
I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer to the baby question. It’s right for some and wrong for others. The timing is good for some and bad for others. You know, to each their own. And the people prone to judge someone else need to take a close look at their own lives before they’re so quick to judge.
March 24, 2010 at 3:09 pm
Windsor Grace
Once again, you have gotten straight to the point I was trying to make. Let’s not judge others because what may be right for one isn’t always right for others.
March 24, 2010 at 7:46 pm
Jen
I love this post~! I def don’t want children and everyone’s reaction is “you will in time, never say never.” I feel like people can’t accept that some people just don’t want to be parents or even would make terrible parents (both in my case). I feel that having children is a huge responsibility, one that I don’t want, and yet still feel socially pressured to want.
Thanks for writing this!
PS Found you via 20sb comments group.
March 25, 2010 at 7:54 am
Windsor Grace
Thanks for you nice comment! I don’t really know how I feel about being a mom yet, but I am so tired of the “You’ll want kids in time” comments. What if I don’t? I am tired of being treated like a social pariah because I might not want to have kids and I’m not sure if I would make a good mother. I don’t think that’s being selfish or immature. Quite the opposite.
March 25, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Sparkling Red
I’m one of those women who have chosen not to have children, and I have received some terrible reactions when I choose to reveal that fact. It’s so bad that I just let people assume I’m infertile and if they want to they can feel sorry for me. That’s a sad state of affairs.
BTW -cute flats!!
May 21, 2010 at 11:27 am
Jen
I have never wanted children. I’ve known for 20 years and at 35 I’m pretty happy with who I am and where I am. I regularly get treated oddly when this comes up though. It’s as if people just don’t believe me! I’m now having to avoid the store in my office building because the lady that runs it is upset with me because I don’t want kids. She doesn’t even know my name but had the nerve to tell me I wasn’t being fair to my Mother! I don’t want to be rude (like they’re being rude to me) but I’m really at a loss on how to handle these situations without being rude. What do I say?
May 21, 2010 at 11:29 am
Windsor Grace
I don’t even know. It’s none of their business and how dare that woman judge you!! You should ask her if she thinks you should just go ahead and have a kid you don’t want.