There are gnomes. Living under my porch. I know, you are rolling your eyes thinking, that crazy girl who knits in public thinks she has gnomes. Correction: I don’t think I have gnomes, I know I have gnomes.
At first, I thought it was the cats. Or their cat friends running around on the porch. THEN, one night, I heard noises (like loud foot steps) on the porch and the kitties were
inside sleeping on the couch and I thought some weirdo must be doing a jig in front of my house. I ran to the window and nary a kitty or jig dancing weirdo.
Months went by and the noises continued. Justin thought I was being silly until he heard it one night and thought someone had come to the door. I knew it was the gnomes and after that, he knew it too.
For Christmas, my aunt gave me a lawn gnome, a scare-gnome if you will. He is sitting at the end of my front steps to encourage the real gnomes to stay away. So far, it’s working ok. The gnomes have made a couple of appearances, but not as many as usual. I will keep you all posted on the progress of the scare-gnome vs the real gnomes.
(I know that there aren’t really evil, blood thirsty gnomes waiting to kill me. But, I did really put a scare-gnome at the end of the steps [he has an owl on his shoulder] and I do blame the unidentified porch noises on the gnomes.)










5 comments
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January 6, 2010 at 8:36 am
A Vapid Blonde
I hope they are not the zombie gnome variety…they well eat the scare-gnome! Consider yourself warned!
January 6, 2010 at 9:44 am
Windsor Grace
I also hope they aren’t zombie gnomes. That would suck. I feel confident of their un-zombieness due to the fact they haven’t tried to eat my brain…yet…
January 6, 2010 at 12:47 pm
SoMi's Nilsa
That’s slightly jarring – these gnomes that only come out in the night. And here I thought gnomes were supposed to be friendly. In our house, if there are any scary noises, our dog has a pretty nasty bark to scare them away.
January 6, 2010 at 6:32 pm
pookie pooh
I think that the most likely cause is the transformer gmomes. They look like normal shrubbery by day and then transform into mean gremlin like creatures at night. Believe me you – they are nasty! Do you have any shrubbery around he house?
January 6, 2010 at 10:30 pm
Windsor Grace
OMG!! I do have shrubbery around the house!! That is sooo intense and scary!!